Trapped in an abusive relationship? Do your best to get away from it as soon as you can — abusive partners don’t play fair and will do everything they can to gain total control over their partners. Here are things you should do to not only protect yourself, but also the people you love who could get caught in the crossfire.
Stop Making Excuses
It is not your fault. It is not anyone’s fault but the abuser. Being in an emotionally dependent relationship might cloud your judgment, keep you from leaving, and allow you to rationalize the abusive treatment, however. Find support in people outside of your relationship who truly care about your well-being. They can help you take the first step in pulling yourself out of your situation: acknowledging the issue itself. Once you learn to recognize that you are being taken advantage of and that you deserve more, you can focus on proactively breaking away from your toxic relationship.
Remove Yourself from a Dangerous Situation
This is particularly true for physical abuse. If you think that your health and well-being as well as that of your kids, if you have any, and other people are in danger, remove yourself from an abusive situation immediately. This could be easier said than done, though. Whenever you feel your resolve to move away faltering, think about how you can do better, how your worth as a person is not dependent on the whims of another, and that there are other people who love you as you are. Stay strong and know that you can get through the difficult situation.
Reach Out and Find Help
Even though it can be a very personal issue, no one has to go through an abusive relationship alone. In fact, trying to carry the burden on your own can make it even harder to deal with. So, reach out to friends, families, and even lawyers. Prioritize yourself and the ones you love. The Law Office of Gordon N. Shayne, a practice that has much experience dealing with domestic abuse cases, cites that individuals can even obtain restraining orders to protect themselves from their abusive partners.
Once the problem has been acknowledged and you have removed yourself from any immediate danger, planning your next steps is necessary. For some couples, it could be giving their partners a second chance. For others, it could be fighting for a legal separation. Either way, in order to heal the wounds caused by an abusive relationship, you need to find closure. Proactively reaching for a better future is key to rising again after your personal trials.
Being involved in an abusive relationship is a harrowing experience. While the abuser might effectively not be there anymore, the emotional scars they have left behind — anxiety, fear, and crippling self-doubt — may still haunt the abused individual, which is one of the main reasons why many come back to abusive relationships. Although the raw emotions can be far too much at times, prevent a relapse by reaching out and seeking help from people who care about you. Furthermore, focus on building your self-confidence and learning to love yourself unconditionally.
Getting out of an abusive relationship is a triumph in itself that deserves celebration. Small steps forward eventually become giant strides. Be sure to reach out to others for healthy emotional support and be confident in yourself — you are stronger than you think and can get out of an abusive relationship.